Depression

I want to talk to you today about something that is so relevant in what’s going on, Depression.

What is depression?

It is a frequency in the brain and body where you lose motivation, will, and hope. It’s when sadness becomes your partner, and the light at the end of the tunnel just goes out. For those of you who think it’s not a big deal and that you can just change it, I am going to say a big Fuck you right now to you. From all of us. Depression isn’t just being sad, it is when your whole existence has become so bleak that even getting up is hard. It is a doom and gloom cloud that shits all over you, and you just don’t see any reason to get out of it. It isn’t even comfort, it is just grey. And that melancholy place is dark and scary. It can cause the most reasonable of people to believe they are worthless, that they are alone, and their existence doesn’t matter. Depression is when the mind becomes imbalanced, either emotionally, chemically or physically. Depression can be caused at any time to anyone, it is not racist or sexist or any kind of ist.

Now I know people say you can fight it, and change it. Listen unless you understand it, or have been there then you don’t know how impossible that feels in the moment it’s grabbed hold. It’s like a straight jacket, in which you have been subdued to a point you don’t see any reason to fight. I speak from experience. I have battled depression since I was young. Between the concussions, and the mental trauma and instability, depression has become one of my friends. It’s the one you hang out with but it’s like they just piss you off anytime they are around, and you know you have to break up with them because their just so toxic but you literally can’t figure out how. That is what depression is like. It’s like when the war starts, you fight. You begin to put the armor on and battle this foe.You sharpen your sword and you make sure your shield is sturdy for the blows that you are about to take. Then it begins. The first wave of attacks, lowering your worth, lowering your support, lowering you to bangs and bruises. And for a second you think, I can get out of it, I can. But that’s when the second wave comes at you like a sneaker sneak. It punches you straight in the gut, knocking the wind out of you and leaves you gasping for air. Then as you lay there you are pummeled with kicks and punches until you just exist, hope gone.

Now how do you fight this?

Movement and people is how you fight depression. You need support. You need to watch your diet. Stay away from processed foods and sugar. This will intensify the depression, so avoid unhealthy food. I know its easier to grab a bag of chips rather then make yourself grilled chicken. But trust me that protein will combat it. For a moment, you need to rally, and move. Stay away from social media cause it will intensify this more. Seeing everyone’s highlight reel is like another punch to the gut. Also pray. Prayer is faith in something higher then yourself hearing you and being there for you. I pray all the time, and let me tell you that helps.

Getting out of depression is one of the hardest things. It comes from you, and when you feel so impossibly low, that looks like a non existent thing. Sometimes getting meds to help with the imbalance is necessary, but it is not required. We all need a little help from time to time and this is okay. This is what it means to be human. Don’t lower your self worth because you are going through this and you need help. Allow that vulnerability to be your strength, because to be vulnerable is to share the most authentic part of yourself. Not many can do that. So wear it like a badge of honor.

When has been a time in your life that you felt this way, or if at all? Did it give you the opportunity to be more compassionate to others? Or did you look at it as a crutch that cripples you and makes you weak? Is there a time now that you can offer more support or lean on others for more support?

I challenge you to make a survival plan for when depression hits. Find one person, or even an animal to be your support buddy. Talk to them, tell them what’s going on. Get real, and get honest. Opening up about it is a start to combat depression. Share your feelings with someone, it could save your life.

Depression doesn’t have to be the end. It can be an opportunity to look into yourself and discover what is not working in your life. Use it as a guide rather then as a monster because it’s happening for you, not at you. As hard as that is to see, I hope you can believe that the darkness is where true transformation happens.

If you or someone you love is having a hard time right now please feel free to contact me or go to https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ We are in this together, and love is the greatest gift you can give. So give generously, you never know how your support could pull someone off the edge.