Going with the flow
You know those days where you are in control of your emotions? Well today was definitely one of those days for me. Lately since I went into adrenal fatigue from stressing myself out I pulled back and took some much needed time to recharge and reflect. Why was I in such a rush to get everything done at warp speed and on top of that perfect? Fear. That SOB fear was running my life and I was chasing after it like a dog with a ball. If I just do more, if I just make it look perfect, if I just do this, but all that did was overwhelm my emotions and set me on edge. It was no longer one task at a time but let’s do everything in one shot because THERE IS NO TIME! So if you feel like that I want you to hear this, everything will work out if you just relax and chill out.
I was running myself from 7 in the morning to 7 at night between work and working on the new business. I kept charging head on like a Rhino and yea I got a lot done but the one thing it did more than anything was stress myself the fuck out. I was freaking out because the website wasn’t done, because my inspection wasn’t done, I still had to do all this hiring paperwork, find a washer and dryer, then get the plumbing done. It was a never ending cycle I was putting myself through and you know what, it’s all still not done. Does it worry me? Not anymore because I know it is out of my hands. I can’t push someone to finish something faster because I am impatient, it just will get done when it gets done.
That kind of mentality allowed for me today to relax. Yesterday I set things up and worked on the space, going through things and working at it. After a few hours I said I need to just chill now. When I heard the news from my landlord I pulled back away from the space and just let go. Everything will work out. That is what my next motto is going to be. For the longest time I wrote this blog with the conviction that it doesn’t have to be pretty I just have to do it and now I would like to add to this, and everything will work out. Believe it!
All day after I got done I just kept repeating those words until I truly believed them, instead of stressing myself out. It allowed me to truly start taking in everything rather than beating my head against a wall.
When we are not working in unison with the flow then no matter how hard we work, it will never feel like enough!!
I can’t emphasize how true this is. You could break your neck working but if it’s not in alignment with your true path then you are still fighting the current. I thought that if everything didn’t get done before my move then I would look like a joke, that people wouldn’t like my space, that no one would come to me. I had 2 months why wasn’t I 100% complete? These crushing thoughts kept pilling up on me and I let that bully pressure me to working harder, not smarter.
It’s when we let go of everything that we are free to do anything!
And that is what I did today. Instead of rushing around freaking out I just focused on fun. I went golfing and for the first time ever wrote down my score. This will be my second year playing the sport and it wasn’t always pretty but I got it done and everything was okay! Every time I would start to get upset I asked myself, why am I going to get upset with that swing, it’s over, it’s past, can’t change it now. Then I refocused on what I was doing then. Sure was I upset when I missed par by 1 yea but I did learn that I putt better 1 handed then with both hands. Every time I missed my putt I would instead use one hand and boom went in every time. But I did have this beautiful chip in that I didn’t expect at all so that was cool. Besides that everything just started to fall in place when I let the chips fall as they may. (Yes a lot of fight club quotes, it is my fav movie.)
When you are going with the flow that is when you feel at peace. Even when others try to egg you on and push you to be comrades in complaining you just look at them as are like why? The move stressed me out because I was leaving a lot behind me. I was leaving my past and the person I once was and all the people I no longer want in my life. Sure most of them were already out of my life but my last office still had their energy that I carried. This move was me not only just expanding my business but letting go of all those energies I was still holding on too. Leaving and knowing I was leaving just made it overwhelming because who was I without all of that?
So in the future when you are unable to let go ask if it’s the space you work in, reside in, play in and maybe it might just be a time for a change of scenery. Perhaps it’s why I move every single year (sometimes multiple times) because for the past 4 years I have changed quite a bit. Every time I grew it was time for me to move. But I digress now. If you are feeling that you can’t just find balance then it’s time to reflect on what it is you are doing.
Are you forcing that square peg in a round hole?
Are you worrying about what other people are doing around you?
Are you freaking out that everything isn’t in order or going faster?
Are you serious all the time that it’s sucking the fun out of life?
If so, think about ways you can change this. Because to find balance between work and play and your relationships is crucial to achieving your goals and success.
Today was a 10!