Growing Up

There comes a point where things must change and your gut feels it. It knows exactly where you are suppose to go yet your ego is like the child saying NO, stay here, don’t change, don’t move, don’t this, don’t that. It then gives you all the excuses for why you should stay instead of the reasons why you need to go. But growing up requires you to face headstrong into the fears of change. It requires you to be courageous in trusting your gut, and listening to that intuition. And when the chips line up, take the leap, straight into the unknown. 

I did my first interview today. I was trying to figure out my next steps also during this interview and how I could incorporate him into the grand design, along with his girlfriend who is also a massage therapist. But then as I drove home the real voice spoke up and told me I had found my replacement for when I find my space. I have been testing out a lot of massage therapists lately to gain a sense of what styles are out there, and who may be a great fit. But it wasn’t until this power lifter, soon to be athletic trainer stepped into my office that I didn’t think anyone would be able to make the fit. Nothing against them, but my gut was always torn with it. With him I just felt it in my gut, and it’s scary. Because it means that my time of change is coming soon. I feel it manifesting and aligning, and as I wait for it the people who are meant to be a part of it are coming forwards. Or were already around me I just was to short sighted to see it. 

So what does it mean to grow up? It means coming into your own, and standing up for yourself. It means arriving into who you are suppose to become on your journey and doing so with confidence. It means stepping aside the ego, the little voice in your head and instead listening to your gut and trusting it. I’ve spent so much of my life questioning my own intuition, and even sometimes trying to will my intuition to be wrong because I believe the noise in my head. But it wasn’t until Covid and this year that I truly began to understand me. To feel empowered enough to speak up, and not settle. I feel so much gratitude to feel empowered. This year really opened my eyes to how much I’ve done, achieved, gone through, and how that changed me. 

Now that’s not to say I don’t have my struggles still. I still have fear about things, and question if I am making the right decisions. But as I learned to breathe, I simply use my breathe to let the feeling go, along with my friend Billy. He has been a god send in all of this. I’ve found a friend, a mentor, and someone I can be truly vulnerable in my expressions and that is worth all the gold in the world. Through our friendship it’s helped me self reflect and dig deeper into my own journey, truly allowing me to reflect. So if you read this Billy thank you so much for being a wonderful, genuine human being. You are absolutely brilliant, and bring such a warmth and light to the world. Thank you for being my friend. 

So where do you see yourself right now? Is it still someone who is scared to be themselves? Afraid to show yourself? Do you feel unchanged, and just uncertain? What steps could you take to invest in yourself? In discovery? In forgiveness? In change? Allow yourself space to grow, to love you fully, and find gratitude along the way. 


Today was a 9.

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