Working hard for you!
This past month has been a lot of long days and exhaustion. Since getting ready for the move I have been putting in a huge effort to make my space look fabulous and it’s leaving me pretty tired by the end of the night. Sometimes I am so tired I can’t even think about writing, like last night. I wound up sleeping almost 12 hours because the amount of work on top of working, has been a little much. It will be so worth it once it is all complete and ready to go! Have you ever put so much work into your dreams? Have you invested your time, your money and energy into you and what you are trying to create? Well if you haven’t that’s fine, you may not be ready to change your world and become a rockstar because when you do the work for you that is when you are a rockstar.
Choosing to put the effort into your life is a hard thing to come to. The problem is we go through life being told who we are and never pushed to find out who that is. We believe the good, the bad and all the shit outside of ourselves that just doesn’t give you what you need within. Because investing in yourself doesn’t come from outside, it doesn’t come from validation from friends or family or anyone it comes from you. You can’t buy it, you can’t go to a seminar to achieve it, you have to literally become so fucking tired of your own shit that you are like oh hell no, I’m done with this. People mistake passion with this grand calling but it’s just a feeling of I’m going to change my life. Stop romanticizing passion with this grandiose notion that only some people are programmed this way to fight hard for the things they want. It’s literally a choice.
When you get up and go to a job you hate, with people you can’t stand and then come home to a pile of debt in a tiny ass apartment then you have to figure out why you are settling for this. Sure it’s comfortable sitting in this known but you could change your circumstances. It may not be a year but if you take the steps now you could change your world for a better future. What do I mean? Well instead of hating your job find reasons you like it then maybe look into changing careers that have more appeal to you. “I don’t know what I want to do.” God if I got 10 cents for every time someone said this. The problem isn’t you don’t know what you want to do, you just don’t want to put in the effort. Let me explain. Go try different trades or you just start by going for your associates. Dabble in classes you never have before, explore all the possibilities. Saying you don’t know what to do is like saying I just want it handed to me. This may seem harsh but the sooner you get out of your own head about not knowing and actually step up and do something anyways the sooner you gain clarity.
10 years ago I was working retail as a cash office specialist, I had no schooling, I was miserable and in a boring, unfulfilling relationship with a man who had no goals or actual drive. I was a cry baby who “didn’t know what to do.” Then I lost my job to the recession and finally went back to school. I got my esthetician license and went for a job, then started massage school soon after this. Once I was made to figure it out by losing my job I took action. I started school and that sent me on a clarity journey. I broke up with him soon after and I am so glad I did. I moved away got clarity and came back after a short time to start working for high class resorts. From there I got into another relationship, one that pushed me beyond my point. During that time I started my own business and was in the place again, “I don’t know what to do.” But I did, I just didn’t want to put in the work because it would be hard, I would be alone, I didn’t know how I would survive, I was scared, put in a reason and I felt it. So I broke up with him and quit my jobs and dove into my own business. This is over probably 6 year span, and then from there I focused on my healing. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t even anything at times but slowly I started to come out of my shell.
That is when I met the love of my life and slowly my business got busier then ever. Then the pandemic hit and that is when everything changed. I got so down, I got to that place again of “I don’t know what to do.” This time I came out ready to go. I got so fed up with myself, so tired of my depression, my inaction, my bullshit excuses, my jealousy, just me, that I did a massive overhaul. The way you get out of not putting in the work is by fucking getting so tired of it that you no longer accept it as your reality. I started working on my business and looking for a new space. I checked out about 12 places until this one finally came to me, only when I had given up searching. But walking in I knew this was it, the thing I was manifesting. The house with a space on the 2nd floor with lots of windows and life. I had created it and now I have invested my time, a lot of money, and me into something all because I finally put in the work.
This may look like an overnight success but this was a 10 year journey. I spent the last 10 years crying and complaining and blaming everyone else for my inaction. Not the whole 10 years but a good portion of it, but alls that led me to was hating what I do, being bored, not feeling fulfilled or like I was even worth it. The last 10 years of my life I wouldn’t change one thing because every moment brought me to the point I decided to chose myself and chose the work rather than coasting by because it was easier. I was a punk who didn’t follow through or know how to be consistent or a success. Now here I am a warrior walking in my own greatness and you can too. You just have to start now. Chose something and try it. It may not be what you want but it will help you learn what you do and don’t want. Go back to school or go to a trade school. Get a job from the trade and use it to pay for your other schooling or a house or pay that debt off. Keep searching for the answers for yourself because life is a long quest. Either you are the main character or your an npc. (Non playing character.- they follow a script and don’t ask questions.) You get to chose your own level of involvement.
Do me a favor and watch the movie fight club. When you are watching this movie really listen to his words and what the actual meaning of it is. Because you are not your fucking wallet, you are not your khakis, you are not the car you drive or the people you have. The answers are not outside of you, they are within and the sooner you start to search within and find them the sooner “I don’t know,” turns into “I have arrived or I know.” You only get 1 short life to live, regardless of your circumstances you can break out of it and become whatever you want. All’s it takes is dedication and effort from you for you. The work will be exhausting and at times it may not even feel like it’s doing anything but be patient. Hard work beats out talent everyday, you could be talented or gifted but if you don’t make an effort then all is for not.
I hope you find your reason for putting in the work my friend. It all comes down to you, I know that can be hard and scary, I’ve lived it. You got this! Look within and just take action now.
Today was a 10!