Rainbow of emotions
We as human beings have a wide range of emotions. They range from happy to sad to anger to jealousy to hurt. To have emotions is human and what we have to remember is just that. There are so many times that we want to beat ourselves up, shame ourselves, break our own spirit because we have these things called feelings. We bury them deep down, choking on every ounce of them until we explode. We hide them, run from them and disassociate from them all the time when in fact we should be running towards them and embracing them. It’s when we truly feel the emotion, the memory tied with it that we begin to heal.
Human beings are complex creatures with lots of emotions. In these emotions we can have secondary and tertiary emotions of each. That kind of insanity, no wonder we would rather stuff them down then deal with them. Me personally I went from being a person who had no idea what I was even feeling to someone who now feels everything all the time. I allow myself to feel things because if I don’t that is when I get sick or explode. The thing is though with emotions they aren’t permanent yet we cling to them when we let them in. Like those moments where you are spiraling out and in panic mode, we cling to them desperate because they are the only thing that makes sense. They become our identity, our way of understanding what is happening. We race to the bottom because once you hit bottom you get to the root of it right? NO. Emotions are never ending, it’s the stories that we attach to them that are at the bottom.
Like for the past 2 weeks I have been so indecisive with my move and the decision I made. I had another offer from a place that I wanted to go to so bad but I know I am not ready for. So after much debate and back and forth I had to turn it down. It was ultimately the right decision but until yesterday I was a mess. Trying to find stability in my emotions was like trying to ask the wind to stop blowing. Change is hard and big change only brings out those deep dark insecurities like an old baby blanket. So what did it prove to me? That trusting your gut is crucial towards decision making. That feeling my emotions no matter how sporadic and all over is good, and that change is scary no matter how ready you are.
How can we learn to get in touch with our emotions then? Well first you need to be able to name the emotions your experiencing then identity that emotion. What this means is understand the wide range of emotions we are capable of experiencing like shock, guilt, shame, doubt, desperation, the lesser known ones and making sure you identify the right emotions to what you are feeling. Like for instance you may be thinking it’s anger but actually underneath the anger is sadness and guilt. This is why it’s a good idea for you to look up all the different types of emotions we are capable of so you can name it. Then making to identify it in yourself correctly.
In order to understand your emotions, because we all experience them differently track one particular one throughout the day. Say you are feeling anger, watch it throughout the day. Do you experience it the same all day long? Is it more intense like rage at times, or wrath? Does it have an undertone of sadness, then maybe it’s guilt. We are so quick to name the emotion like I’m so angry but is that indeed how you are feeling? And then once you are feeling the emotion and have correctly identified it watch it. Don’t shame or judge yourself. YOU ARE HUMAN YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL! But in watching the emotion don’t attach yourself to it in saying’s like I’m so angry today. Ugh this anger won’t leave me. All that does is keep you stuck in the emotion and even if you feel happy or sad or joyful you resume that anger because you are suppose to be feeling it all day right?
Emotions are like one of those old view masters. You know the toy I am talking about? The pair of binoculars with a circle of pictures you put in the slot and every time you flip the lever the picture changes? No? Look it up, this will be the best way to understand your emotions. Now imagine you are looking from within yourself into these binoculars at your emotions. Every time you hit the lever or remember something a new emotion is displayed. This is how you begin to understand the emotions, picture them as something you are viewing. They are these little pictures on a lease and you get to see them and let them go or you can be like ohhh let’s follow this one to the end. Once you understand that emotions are just an experience like watching a tv show then you can really begin to understand them pretty well.
Now I am not saying that it will stop you from having emotions or spiraling out, but it may help you spiral out less, or shutdown less. If you find yourself in a place where you can’t seem to catch yourself then reach out to someone. Share with someone what is going on, let them be your sound board. Maybe you just are an out-loud processor like me and just talking about what you are experience will give you some peace of mind once you get it all out. If you process things out-loud you are not alone. Input from others allows us to feel validated in what is going on, and you may gain a new perspective into yourself you didn’t see before. If you process things internally then find a time to give to yourself just to do that. If you need alone time take it, your mental health is more valuable and important then anything.
What I really like is that people are beginning to understand that to have emotions is part of the human experience, and that our society is beginning to explore it. We are venturing into a new era where we are getting in touch with the things that makes us human and doing the things we love. We aren’t indoctrinated to the same rules and old way of thinking as previous generations, and this makes me feel hope. Because if humanity is ever going to heal then we need to come together and understand we are all the same. We have emotions, we all bleed red, we all have eyes and ears and 2 arms for warm hugs. We are creative and have free will and that is a beautiful thing.
So how can you start today looking and understanding your own emotions more? Maybe find a therapist who is great at helping you identify things. Perhaps you talk to friends or you do research on all the different kinds of emotions we feel. Maybe you just watch one emotion throughout the day and get a feel of how it truly feels when its happening. There is no wrong way to explore the experiences of feelings. Get to feeling and make good girl or good boy choices!!
Today was a 8. Need sleep!