Ego

One of the harder things humanity has to face is ego. It gets in the way of being wrong, making mistakes, not trying, and more. Having an ego is part of all of us, and it can prevent you from becoming open to do, create, implement, empower, or become. Our ego is the part of our inner guidelines and morals that tells us who we are and were we stand in the world. But did you ever think that maybe it’s wrong? Maybe that inner self talk has been a lie you have told yourself for weeks, months or years?

I know my ego has led me astray at times. I am a person who knows things, it’s been part of who I am since I was a little kid. I am able to pick up on others energy, feelings, and interpret them. This has allowed me to understand what their motives are, what is actually being said in between the lines, if they are lying and of course I kept this to myself and never pointed this out in others. I guess years of what I went through made me not want to hurt others, or speak my truth in fear of rejection or abandonment, or even conflict. However, during this time of quarantine I realize how I hold myself back and how those lies I fed my ego were wrong. I am not afraid to do that because of others reactions. I am afraid to do that because it means taking responsibility for who I am and honoring myself. See, I was told I was worthless for years. That my existence was a burden and through action by my family it was truly enforced into me. It’s not an excuse, it’s a fact. One that I have spent years working on unlearning. But undoing the foundations of who you thought you were and where you fit in the world is a very hard things to change. It is in our subconscious and that deep level is something that can’t be changed over night. It takes time and practice, and mostly patience.

Underneath Ego is vulnerability. Because when you start to feel that ego rising, lets say your need to be right, thats when you enter “the fight”.You feel that burning sensation inside that you are right and they are wrong. It bubbles into a maddening energy because you know the truth, and you become so resistant to any other information. But this is where if you allow yourself to realize it, your foundation is being challenged to open up to other possibilities. It’s saying hey you know who you are, but then other information comes in that negates all the things you know. It questions your existence, and pokes you over and over, trying to find holes in it. It’s in this moment you explode or you become open. Science was right until it wasn’t and the same goes for your ego. It is right until it isn’t. To feel that what you thought you were is wrong, leaves you feeling the weight of vulnerability. But let me tell you that vulnerability is the best thing for your ego. Going that deep into your psyche, leaving it in a state of questioning can bring you to change the lies you told it and the hurts you faced. To be in that vulnerable place is like bathing after rolling in the mud, it can be warm and cleansing and afterwards you come out all shiny and new.

What are some of the lies you feed your ego? When faced with the fight do you explode or do you become open to change? Have you allowed yourself the opportunity to uncover what you think you are, and where you stand in the world? I challenge you to really dig deep today. Do you feel an undertone that sets the tone for all things in your world? Meaning do you feel something about who you are that sets a tone for all the things you create? Is it selfish? Depressed? Happy? Altruistic? Fear? Destructive? What is that tone rippling out into the world? Because that tone is a limitation that your ego has put on you. It is your sense of worth, and it tells you what you can and can’t do. When you figure it out, I want you to ask it, “How is this relevant to me now? Does this feeling halt my progress or expand me? How is this serving me now? These questions will help you to get a better clarity on who you are. By actually connecting with yourself you will be able to create better connections in the world, and that’s what all of us want. To feel connected and accepted for who we are.

By doing this work it could lead you to accept your thoughts, and feelings without judgement or criticism. This level of awareness will instead replace the usual egocentric mind with a place of peace and letting go. When you are able to watch the thoughts, and feelings and not allow ego in the way then you become free. You gain a sense of serenity that can see things happening, and instead of fighting, you just allow it to be. And to be, is like Shakespeare said the question.