Gratitude & Self-Talk
You know what can be really hard at times? To be grateful for the things we have, the people we have, and the current situations in our lives. Gratitude is the foundation of manifesting and change. In order to rewire our neural pathways we must come from a place of gratitude. Gratitude is a realization of everything we have created and honors that inner world. This is a positive reinforcement, and when you add pleasure to something then you continue to reinforce that action and behavior. Repeatedly thinking positive or negative thoughts lays down neural pathways that make it easier to think positively or negatively. What does this mean? That if you constantly dwell on the things wrong in your life your brain will hone in on potential disasters, mistakes you make, others make or any little obstacle you face. This could cause de-motivation, depression, and “death” of positive action.
What could you do then to become more positive? Well being grateful every morning. Wake up and ask yourself 3 things at least you are grateful for. Say them out loud, write them down, do whatever you can to make your body feel that gratitude. The language you use for yourself and with others plays a huge role on your psyche so think carefully about what you say. You can ask yourself positive questions when in the midst of a challenging situation. Interrogative self talk is a helpful way of problem solving that is questioning rather than just making statements. Instead of declarative self talk which is a firm statement or motivational quote, (and only lasts about 20 minutes)you can ask a question that gives you a positive response.
Instead of yelling at yourself with declarative statements like lift that bar, just do it. I want you to ask yourself questions like hey how are you feeling today? How can we lift that bar today? What weight are you feeling comfortable at? This kind of questioning leads you to a deeper understanding and clarity. When you give a quick jab at yourself with a statement you don’t have an understanding of how it applies to you. It’s just like when you get that quick burst of adrenaline and your body is left playing catchup. It gets you pumped for a moment, but then your left in adrenaline dump where you try to recoup that energy. When you ask the questions it gets your brain thinking about the current situation. It looks at all factors and challenges your psyche to understand how you can do the thing your asking. The constant barking at yourself will leave you feeling drained, and even requiring a break from the thing your doing. So instead of telling yourself to do things, ask questions the next time. What, how, and why are great ways to start the question. They make it apply to you.
How can you use interrogative self talk in order to become more grateful? Instead of saying things like I am grateful for this, or I should be grateful for that. Lets ask the question, How does this thing make me feel grateful? What about this person am I grateful for? Why does having this provide gratitude? These types of questions will make you feel the actual feeling of gratitude instead of forcing it down your throat. You want to feel it because that is when it allows those neural pathways to lay down new networks. Otherwise you can say something all you want, but until it is felt and becomes true, they are just words with no real meaning.
I have had my own share of negative self talk. It’s like a constant barrage of jabs and punches, and this leaves me lying to myself and feeling depressed. I tell myself all the things I need to do, and that list is great, but when I don’t do everything on the list I get anxiety about not accomplishing it. Instead of barking orders, I could ask How can I get this thing on my list done? What can I do to check off the items on this list today? Asking the questions helps me become more organized and understanding of how to accomplish the tasks . It’s like a boss who barks orders at his employees, he’s no leader, he de-motivates them. But when that boss comes asking questions on how to proceed, then he becomes the leader by motivating you to take charge of the tasks. So how do you want to talk to yourself? How can you apply gratitude to your life? What changes could you apply in the way you speak to yourself? How can you change a declarative statement into a question?
I challenge you to sit with yourself and ask questions rather then making statements. Challenge the way you view yourself, because it’s probably wrong. We tend to be harsh critics of ourselves, so start asking questions as to why you feel that way. What has told you that statement is true? How can you change this view of yourself? What about yourself are you grateful for? Be kind and allow yourself this opportunity, you never know how it will change the way you see.