Fillers
Have you ever watched a tv show where some episodes aren’t directly effecting the plot? Or a side quest in a video game that doesn’t directly effect the main quest or story? I believe we all have these days, just time used as a filler. It’s meant as a day of self care, vegging out, or just meaningless shenanigans. Not every day is meant to be full of excitement and non stop action. And if it is then wow, color me impressed. That’s just not how I see the world. Down time is necessary, filler time is necessary. It provides relief to a constant goal and some kind of achievement.
Today I couldn’t even begin to tell you which day of the week it is. My routine has blended into a monotonous rhythmic time lapse where there is no end and no beginning. Perhaps it’s just me but today felt like a filler day. I felt no motivation to write, no motivation to do anything, yet I was bored out of my skull. Yes I know I can pick up a book or whatever, but frankly I don’t care. Every where I see there is all this hype about constantly improve everyday. Do this everyday, if you aren’t using this time to the max then you wasted it. Well shame on you for telling someone how to use their time. If you are using it to better yourself great, if you are using it to decompress from the physical work awesome. Me personally I am looking inward and sorting out my own shit. I am using this time to rest, because I was on the verge of serious burnout with massage. Whatever you chose to do in this time, spend more time with family, write something, workout, really anything is okay. And it’s also okay for some of these days to be just fillers in the great quest of life.
I see so many people shove their growth in others faces, like when Tyler Durden got in everyone’s hostile little faces. “Yes these are bruises from fighting.” And listen that’s great that you are doing you. But also recognize that what is right for you isn’t right for everyone. One size fits all is not accurate, its a rough estimate saying perhaps you’ll fit into this based on our speculations. (Can’t even get the stupid pants around one leg... well that’s just a poop in the coffee. Yes that is a real expression, and mine for that matter. I make expressions up.) So here I am writing about fillers, because today is a filler. I have made a commitment to my Dare to Habit blog that I will write everyday for at least a year. So that means I won’t skip a day even if I don’t have much to write about. So expect fillers 2 and 3 occasionally.
As we get further along in this blog the perfection I was trying to attain has died and I stop putting on a facade. I wanted so badly for others to read it and be like damn Hope what can’t you do. Trying to prove to others, ugh so stupid. That’s just my ego talking and needing validation. I am particularly dry today, so I hope you read this blog as such. I hope you enjoyed my filler blog. I needed to write and it’s not pretty but this is what I had to give today. Average content for a filler day, and ya know something I like it. I like the non serious tone of me trying to tell you something that I learned today.
What did one duck say to the other duck?
Excuse my mallards but go duck yourself.
Yea, that’s an original! Have you ever just had a day were you didn’t care? Not in a negative way, but just like a fuck it kinda way. Like meh. Well I challenge you to continue it and just be. Be in the meh and allow it to be okay. Cause it’s when you put expectations on things that you get anxiety. And when you compare things to others you get depression. So just be in the filler day, it’s okay to do. Anyway you chose to live is okay because this is your life. You have to sit with yourself for the rest of it. Just be okay with it.