End of a Chapter
Tonight is the last night I am in my current apartment. I am scared, nervous, exhilarated, and a slight bit of joy. I have enjoyed this chapter of my journey, during which I learned so much. This apartment was like I went into hibernation, a cocoon if you will, and now I am to emerge a beautiful moth or butterfly. The time spent here had me isolate, and really gain some introspection into my self. I fought depression and found the things that no longer served my inner creator and as I started to come out of my cocoon I feel more creative, inspired, and abundant now.
Over the past year you have seen the ups, the downs, and maybe even a couple of mehs. I have experienced so much depression and anxiety and now I am in a place where I hardly feel these things. While flipping Facebook memories I look at old posts and think to myself wow, how sad of a person I was. How I didn’t even see how amazing and great I truly am. Now I am talking like over 10 years here, this isn’t an overnight transformation. But I want to let you know you can change. If you are working on self discovery and opening yourself to be reborn in a sense it will and can happen. I am living proof.
I went from blaming myself all the time, depressed, allowing others to take advantage of me then pass the buck and say it’s my fault instead of taking responsibility for theirselves, to now being in a place where I will not give up my alignment for anyone. I’ve taken all the resistance and wrestled with it and come out in a place where I go with the flow rather than wrestle what is. And the thing is I find joy in this. I find joy in paying bills, and moving, I find happiness in all things regardless if they are fun or not. Why? Because now when I pay a bill I’m grateful for the opportunity to have the money to do so and to have learned the responsibility of it. I am grateful for my moves because every single one cost me more in rent and proved just how much I can accomplish. I learned how to bring joy into my life instead of staying stuck on the worst of it I instead find joy in the best of it.
Sure my landlord ended our lease but it was ended because my growth is necessary. I am going to a place now that I am able to embrace myself more and become more open to the world. So my friend I want you to start looking at all the things surrounding you and instead of complaining, instead of resisting the things trying to make their way to you, FIND JOY in it. You have an unexpected bill, thank it for teaching you a lesson in being more prepared for the unexpected, find joy in paying it because it will show you how abundant you are. You lose your job? Well be grateful for it teaching all the things you didn’t want in a job, maybe the things you wanted in a job could never exist in that particular place and that is why you lost it. Because it wasn’t serving you. I want you to get out of your way and stop thinking life is happening to you, and instead realize life is happening for you because you are a creator.
A lot of the times people gain this sheep mentality, I have to get a job to make ends meet. I can’t believe in my dreams because I need to be responsible, but how often do those same people feel like they are drifting, they are searching for meaning, for anything to make them feel better. You have to understand if this is you that you were never made to be in a job you hate, you chose that rather than aligning with your source. That is when you feel depression, anxiety, anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, when you are not in alignment with source. Because you are constantly creating, every second. But every time you put doubt with that creation it can’t get to you because you are the obstacle in your own way. That doubt mentality is your obstacle. Not other people, not unexpected events, YOU!!! You are in your own way.
I hope you can begin to see this. If not than it’s okay, your journey is your own. It’s like brining a horse to water and making it drink. You have no control over anyone but you. Be blessed my friend.
Today was a 9.