Happiness

What really is happiness? Everyone is chasing this and clawing hard at the race to achieve it, but what is it really? Is happiness to you the same for me? Is happiness a state of being or is it a place of existence where you exude its energetic frequency? Can we define it? All these things about happiness yet there is no real guidelines for achieving it. Money doesn’t make you happier, people don’t make you happier, materials don’t make you happier. So then what makes you happy to begin with?

Happiness is a feeling. It is a state in which you radiate positivity and joy. But the thing about this is it is a matter of mindset. It is also a matter of opinion. So many people will say well happiness is a choice. Sure it is. I am not arguing it, but when you don’t have it or feel like you are at the bottom in the dark, attaining it can be way harder then you think. I know some people that are extremely happy and have nothing, and some people that have everything but are extremely depressed. So what does this mean for happiness? It means that it comes from you, and your opinions. If you believe you have to do something in order to attain happiness then you become the chaser. A chaser is someone always in search of something, an explorer who never rests until they gain or feel whatever it is they are searching for. That can be exciting to chase, but what if you are always chasing and never feeling it.

For me I get happiness in short snipits. It’s hard when you battle depression. Some days I wake up and I can achieve moments of joy and carefree luxury, while other days I wake up panic stricken or anxious. Today I woke up anxious because I am still battling unemployment like so many others. I am waiting for all these monetary things to happen, so the wait is exhausting me. Dwelling on it amplifies it 10 fold. Here’s an idea, you have something you’re worried, or stressed about, the first minute you start to worry about it amplifies by 2x. Then that keeps going so now the next minute it amplifies to 3x. Every minute you dwell on it, it becomes amplified more and more until you are just consumed in thought, body, and spirit by that little thing you had no control over anyways. Worrying takes your happiness away. It takes the present moment away and leaves you exhausted and down.

So what if we did the same thing with happiness. What if we started to think about it and feel it, and every minute you do it amplifies it more and more. Maybe if we began to achieve 2 minutes a day we could eventually get to 15 minutes. I mean it is a practice, to be happy. Like everything in life it is something you to work at, like yoga or breathing, or working out. Everything requires focus, dedication, consistency, and PRACTICE! Why would happiness be any different.

For me happiness is when I have no worries or cares, I can listen to music and sing along without my inner dialogue fighting me on who I am or what I should be doing right now. For me happiness is moments where I just get to smile fully and laugh hard. For me happiness is being able to use my senses to be present in food or with people or in the moment. When I get to dive deep into someone else’s psyche and see what makes them tick that makes me happy. For me happiness is traveling and exploring the world. There are other moments where I gain happiness from but these are the biggest ones. Now what makes me happy doesn’t mean that it will be what makes you happy. These are just some of the things I enjoy profusely that bring out inner joy.

But what happens when I am not doing these things? What happens when you get stuck and stagnant and feel defeated or depressed or any other low feeling. Well it’s hard to find happiness. It’s hard to get up and feel grateful or find joy. So I get it. But the mindset that got you to that place is not going to be the one that helps get you out. For me when I am low I try to get lower because that amplification is bringing me there by dwelling. I get so low that I look at myself and am like wooo this is dark and I don’t like it. I become the watcher at that moment seeing my thoughts and how they became so chaotic and self hatred filled. (Eckert tolle for the win “watcher.” Check out the power of now if you want to understand more.) In that low place my mind shatters in a sense. That’s when I feel 2 feelings at the same time. As the watcher I feel like wow I don’t want to be in this anymore, the angel on my one shoulder says let’s get out of this muck. But then there’s the devil on the other shoulder, and it pulls you back in. And let me tell you that is the hardest feeling to not go back to. That pull is comfort. That pull is your neural pathways screaming at you. That pull is so strong and intense that you want to just give in and go back to that dark place. Your inner demons assist that devil with words that synchronize to that darkness. Then you have a choice. Either down the dark rabbit hole, or go up to the bright sunny world and have a picnic. I know how hard it can be to chose the sun, but the more often you chose it the less likely you become afraid of the dark.

Choosing happiness can be really hard at times. Life throws things your way that leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable, but in those moments find it anyways. What makes you happy? What memories brought you so much joy that remembering them puts a smile on your face? I want you to do one thing that makes you happy, then store it in your memory box for later when you will need it. Really feel it and when the world starts to get dark again pull it out and bake a cake with it. Imagine all your happy feelings as old recipes and every time you feel down you pull one out in order to bake something delicious. How can you start practicing happiness? Even 5 minutes a day can you add it to your routine? Whether it be when you first wake up or after lunch. I challenge you to find a point in your day where you can practice being happy. Go look in a mirror and smile, tell yourself a joke and see how you laugh. Watching yourself practice will allow you to see what you look like when you’re happy. Are you ready to start practicing being happy?