Anniversary
Today marks my one year anniversary to a wonderful human being. He is my absolute favorite person, and today I want to dedicate this blog post to him. I have been in a few relationships. And after the last serious relationship ended I bounced around a lot because I was in pain and because I was hoping to find partners that would be what I needed. However those little blips taught me so much about the things I didn’t want when it came to relationships. It also taught me a lot about my own self worth. How I viewed myself was really reflected in a lot of these relationships.
I would quickly bounce from one thing to the next, which took me a long time to do. Normally I would stay and allow behaviors to happen and not stick to my boundaries. It would drive me crazy yet I would stay because of the low self worth. Then I slowly started to gain more and more confidence. Defining what I love and what I don’t. That’s when I met my current partner. I knew the first time I saw him our paths would cross but I didn’t know what that meant.
As we became friends and got to know each other it started to blossom into something more. It was fun and exciting and just worked. I hadn’t felt butterflies like that in a long time, every other time I got with someone I forced the feelings. I forced myself to think I loved them. It was a matter of denial for me, and I wouldn’t accept things. I hated dating, always have. I don’t like the honeymoon phase either. Well when I was younger sure, but once you pop that little pink bubble thats where the real love comes in. It’s full and real and raw, and it requires work. That to me is what it’s all about, showing my dedication day in and day out. Committed to loving that person knowing full well who they are. And that’s where I am with Nick. The bubble has been popped a while ago and now its raw and real. And it terrifies me everyday. I feel so grateful for this relationship because he puts me outside of my comfort zone everyday because of the love I have for him. And if you are living in comfort are you really living? Or are you just on autopilot?
Nick is a wonderful person. He listens fully, loves deeply,and is so kind and supportive. I haven’t loved like this since my last relationship and everyday it grows more and more intense. I pray everyday that I get to spend the rest of my days with him. Through anything I know that we can overcome it together and I am so excited to see what our future holds. When you found someone that just understands and accepts you for you that is like striking gold. He knows I am sensitive and emotional, he knows I am weird and stubborn. He see’s me for me and loves it. Today is one of many anniversaries I hope to spend with him. To my forever valentine, you mean the world to me. My salamander rainforest golden glow.
If you have someone in your life go out of your way to show them what they mean to you. Not just on day’s that mark something, but everyday. Do little things like leave them notes, surprise them with baked goods, or write them something. Whatever you do for them to make them feel special do it, because you never know how much time you have left to laugh and love with them. You don’t know and that is why every moment is precious. So cherish your loved ones, and love above anything.
Today I was at an 8. It was an amazing day.