Psyche out

Today I started my first training day at a cafe! Nerves check. Anxiety, check. Rocking the shit outta it, check!!! You know those pre jitters you get prior to doing something? Well me I get them fucking bad. They drive me crazy and psyche me out so hard sometimes! 

What can we do then when it comes to this psyche out mentality? The mentality that will push you to not follow through? Just take baby steps every time. For me The gym is where it hits me most. Not just the gym but crossfit. Taking that class for some reason causes me anxiety. I try to understand what I am feeling and why, but sometimes you just get anxiety. That is what happens prior to class. I use to think it was social setting, then I use to think it was being seen, also being part of a team. But let me tell you that that over analyzing of why I dont follow through is why I psyche myself out. And perhaps a lack of control. Always gotta be in control right? 

So instead of overthinking about the situation just embrace it without expectations , without trying to think of every possible outcome or result. By psyching yourself out you put a negative connotation on it, that puts you into freak out mode. That fear of what may happen will make you go through the cycle of forfeit. Well at least thats what I call it. 

So what do I think the cycle is? Well you decide to do something, you get the high and excitement. Then the wait and work happens, so you start to get the jitters from the buildup. The thing you are going to do is a few hours away and you get all in your own head. Your mentality starts to make excuses, it puts up obstacles, it causes the anxiety to rise. Then the moment comes, put up and shut up or skip out on yourself. What choice do you make? Do you see this as a reoccurring issue that comes up? If it is, what in the past allowed you to jump the hurdle and push through? 

For me that was what work was like today. Chasing that cycle and owning it. I have been tettering back and forth for weeks, afraid to commit even though I pulled the trigger. I make a decision and then want to run away from the commitment. Why? Because a lack of freedom, being responsible for it, fear of commitment? Probably a lot of reasons but instead of quitting and skipping out I went and it was brilliant! I met so many wonderful people and got to know some of the local pilots! I got to socialize at work and stay busy on my toes! My fears almost made me skip an opportunity for myself. Do you know how sad I would of been had I done that? The disappointment I feel when I bail on myself and my choices is more intense then anything else anyone has put me through. And that is saying a lot! 

So how do you feel when you bail on yourself? Is it gut wrenching and make you want to sit on the couch with a big pint of icecream? Your success is measured through your own happiness, not on what you own. So failing yourself is why we feel unsuccessful , never trying the same. But taking the leap, making mistakes, failing often, striving in the face of adversity that is how you succeed. Push through ny friends! You got this!!

Today was a 8! Chasing the 10!! Also need to shift my nutrition game again. Time to start meal prepping peeps!!