100% commitment to yourself
There is nothing that will change you or make your life better without you doing the work. It’s plane and simple, until you decide to commit to yourself and change then you will keep attracting the same types of things in your life. It’s not a hard concept but we ask the question, “Why does this keep happening to me?” Like life is singling you out and doing it to you. This poor me mentality is why it keeps happening and why you will always have things piling up on you. Life happens for you, not to you and the sooner you can recognize this the sooner you get to change things to be the life you want.
I use to be this scared timid person all the time. Everyday I would always be on edge thinking the world is ending and waiting for the next shoe to drop. It always did because I was literally creating it, Like attracts like remember, so by being in that state I wasn’t taking control of the reigns. Instead I would give away my power to this person, that person, give pieces away of myself just for scraps of love and “the illusion” of love. I would accept them because I was coasting by on autopilot, unwilling to put an effort in at all. So I settled daily until it turned into years.
This whole healing concept really started in my late 20’s and truly began in my 30’s. I started to open myself up little by little but always pulled back believing I was not worthy enough, not good enough, not this, not that, that I wasn’t capable of anything big. I had to stay small and unseen, and unlovable. So I explored and started the work. Now when I talk about work this doesn’t mean going to a 9-5 job and hammering away all day. This is internal work that helps resolve your trauma, your insecurities, your past, your anxiety and your self love. It can feel like you aren’t moving forward and no progress is being made at times, even months but then one day you feel it. The change.
So the work I have been doing these past 4 years has been allowing me to finally believe in myself, love myself and hold myself accountable and responsible for my life. An emotional rollercoaster for a good portion of it but as I dove into those emotions that’s when I would truly heal. I saw therapists, I began to write, I did emotion work and then a pandemic. That isolation though, one of the hardest experiences I have had because it tested me with all the work I had been doing was the most liberating and freeing yet. It changed me because during that time the depression, the anxiety, the pain came up and taught me what was no longer serving me. I had to step up to the plate and become it, the very thing I wanted for myself.
I needed to stop comparing myself on social media, listening to people who told me who I was, stop allowing myself to dishonor who I was based on the past, others, and materialistic things. I had to walk into my greatness and let go of those who frankly were just one sided and narcissists, I had to surround myself with loving people and supportive people. And now here I am with friends I adore and who support me, with a family whom I cherish (my partner and his family) and expanding my business. It took years to get here and it is entirely okay because I needed to go at my own speed. Life isn’t a sprint and I arrived when I meant too. By committing to the process and allowing myself to cry, to breakdown, get angry, explode, hurt, be hurt, fall down, get up I found who I was along the way.
Life isn’t some straight line where you get everything you want because you wish for it, NO! You need to put an effort in. If you want to open your own business then research everything you can about doing so. Make actionable steps and then take those steps to get there. If you want to get over an ex then get a therapist and get to the root of your problem. See them 2 times a week, or more. Go as often as you can so you can make progress in your life. If you just keep sitting there, eating Oreos and wanting your life to be different the YOU HAVE TO GET UP AND DO IT!!! There is no platter, there is no savior, You are your savior. So get the fuck up and do it. Stop complaining because it’s too hard, stop complaining that you can’t. Stop making excuses and JUST DO IT!! It doesn’t have to be pretty you just have to do it!! You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable and dance with your demons. You have to throw punches at your inner darkness when it’s trying to bring you down. This life is entirely yours, no one is forcing you to stay where you are, in an unhappy marriage, in a dead end job, in a loveless career, in a field of study, in a house, with triggering people, in debt, abused, forgotten, You are choosing this option because it’s easier to stay then walk into your courage. You are choosing to stay because it’s safe and what you know, its easy, it’s the same story you tell yourself. If this is what you want then so be it, own it, take responsibility for every beautiful moment, good or bad. You chose.
If you chose to stay there then keep it to yourself, don’t spread the hurt, the gossip, the pain you feel because you can’t rise. Don’t bring someone else down so you can feel better. Don’t complain or cause problems for someone else because you can’t take control of your life. Don’t go out of your way to be negative and try to ruin someone else’s day because you are choosing to be complacent. Cause if that’s the type of person you wish to be then that’s fine but don’t ruin others because you are so damn scared, hurt, unwilling to make your life right and create the beautiful life of your dreams. I see it all the time, people spreading hurt, and this only perpetuates all the hurt in the world. So instead spread love and joy and support. If you can’t rise to meet yourself then be kind to someone else. Just do that, because this negativity is killing society and turning people into entitled assholes.
If you are ready to 100% commit, no regrets, no hesitations, no excuses then I applaud you. The work will be hard but so rewarding. You will get to new heights you only dreamed of and then once you get there you will dream bigger and for more. It’s amazing to finally commit to yourself and be all in. I have had my doubts and hesitations every time I thought I was ready. I would second guess it or pull back, but once I finally was like yes I am all in, that is when my life finally began. Now I am just playing catch up to get to where I want to be. The passion is there, the fire lit, I am 100% committed to my journey and will do everything I can to be where I want to be. And you can be there too!! Just chose it and light that fire under your ass!!
Today was a 9!