Reflecting on 2020
Tomorrow is New Years Eve. This year is almost coming to a close. It’s a time of reflection and reminiscing of the past year. I thought about everything that has happened this year for me and boy was it a good year. Horrible. A struggle, but fucking brilliant. Why? Well I went through the worst depression of my life and made it out alive, I started this blog, and I found myself amongst the chaos.
I want you to take a look over the past year. Where were you at the start of this year and where are you now? I’d like you to look over it. If you gained weight, if you had a change of career, if you lost a lot of people, its okay. Listen life isn’t always this beautiful sunshiny rainbow. I had things like this happen as well, it sucks. But this is only temporary. But aside from these things look at where you were mentally? Did you tackle some pretty heavy things? Are you still tackling them? Where did it lead you?
For me I let go of a lot of things, I know I still have more to release but that’s why this year was beautiful. The level of awareness has opened me to make real connections with people. I’ve gotten closer to my best friend and let go of this idea of what everyone thinks of me. I was obsessed how others perceived me, and now after this year I can tell you my foundation is unshakable. It feels fucking great. Having this no longer dictate a lot of my life I now have deeper connections with others, plus I now have the right people coming into my life. Like amazing! And I’m also no longer chasing after people. I use to chase the wrong friendships and when they didn’t work out or treat me like a priority I questioned what is wrong with me. That made me feel like I was unworthy of things, but now if there is no reciprocation I don’t pursue it. If it’s one sided or drama filled, I don’t pursue it. I am free of the bullshit. All that old beliefs about what was friendships and relationships fucking beat out of me by this difficult, brutal, beautiful year.
Instead of looking at the bad of “2020” I want you to see this year as an unveiling. Find the good things that resulted from it. Everyone thinks that, oh my god I can’t wait till 2021, but what will that even do? Seriously? 2021 is a day away and Covid is still relevant, the election fraud still prevailing, the new year is not a do over button. It just marks the start of a new calendar year. Sorry to break your bubble, but if you want to change you have to chose it. There is no magic button, no do overs, you have to be proactive right now and decide to put in the effort. You don’t want to hype up the new years approach and think that at that stroke of midnight that all your stress, problems will go away. So that’s why I want you to look at the good of this year, look at the things you want to be different. I want you to take a hard look and decide that you want the change. Don’t wait for a new year because you will always be waiting. Take charge, see the positive, and apply baby steps to your goals. You got this my friend.
Today was a 8