Dying Reflection
As I sit here typing this I have tears rolling down my cheeks. I can literally feel my old self dying right in this moment. I look at who I once was, the fears, the limiting beliefs, all the can’ts, won’ts, shouldn’t, and they no longer feel like they belong with me anymore. I feel every part of me expressing a self love that I didn’t know I was capable of. It’s like someone flicked a light on and I can’t allow myself to believe that I am not worthy anymore.
I feel gratitude for all that I was, for every time I survived and hid away from the world. I am grateful beyond belief for what I have done to get here and it’s like a star imploding in on it’s self. I see myself and am in awe of just how remarkable I am. The magic I am able to create, the confidence that is coming, the knowing, the presence, it’s all coming from me and I am just filled with so much joy. I can’t say that this dying of my old self is easy, it’s fucking scary and feels overwhelming, but it’s also exciting because I know how much abundance I am creating. I see the manifestations coming to life, the work I put in, and the time spent trusting in my path, all falling in line.
What sparked this? Not even sure, maybe it’s been there, waiting for the right moment to come out. Maybe it’s just time for me to let go? Not sure what really hit me today in this moment, maybe listening to the new Alicia keys album, I just feel this old version going away. Right before I started to type I sat down wrapping my arms around myself and just loving on myself. Truly feeling love in every fiber of my being. I had felt the death happening and I just wanted to allow it to go with love.
This may not make any sense for those who don’t know the feeling of letting go of who you were. It might not make sense to anyone but me, and that’s where the magic is. Because in this moment I felt rebirth, felt myself realize the love, support, and magic I have in me. It’s powerful and inspirational, especially to me. Have you ever read the power of now? The moment Eckert tolle talks about his awakening, it’s like I feel so unbelievably connected to everything. How everyone in my life is meant to be here, how I am here to help them and vice versa. I see the connections again, something I haven’t seen in so long. I missed this magic.
Today was a 7, still feeling under the weather but better.