Finding peace in the shame
in the shame
Jan 21 Written By Hope Ackerly
You know those days where you are beyond exhausted and all you want to do is attack the projects you have been working so hard on? Yea that’s me today. It’s beyond frustrating that all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch this amazing anime show. Not only that but taking an hour nap along with it. Between the work at my office and the constant stream of ideas with dare to habit I am finding myself taking an exhaustion day. And now I realized I signed up for a week long retreat for business and sales. That’s what happens when you get so focused and start messaging other bloggers and inspirational instagram people.
The thing is though I hate being this tired. It makes me feel sad and lazy. I am a restless driven person so when I am sitting around not prioritizing my time well, (especially lately) there is a bunch of shame that goes into that. Not because I am doing nothing but because I want to be doing something and am to drained to actually do it. That to me is the epitome of frustration. So let’s discuss this feeling of shame. It is a low vibrational energy and when it comes into play it can really wreak havoc on progress. Shame is a freezing energy where it comes off that “it’s my fault,” or “there’s something wrong with me.” Shame is a very heavy feeling and can be hard to work with because it can also be connected to trauma’s and fears. This leaves the person feeling worst for feeling shame to begin with. This cycling needs to be handled with care and love.
When you feel shame it can be hard to get out of that energy. It’s an all encompassing energy that gets your inner critic to tag team it and go hard on you. For instance my body and mind is saying slow down, and I’m like NO I can’t. I want to work hard to get to my dreams. But my body is like you worked out hard today and you need to chill. And because I am not listening to my body and mind I instead shame myself because I should be doing, doing, doing. The momentum I had the past week has been incredible and I want to keep riding that wave but instead I actually have to listen to my body and be okay with it. So what is this shame about underneath? Probably that I can’t do it, or capable of creating something as huge as I see. That it won’t be enough. Or maybe that if I stop for a minute to re-coup energy I am surrendering momentum and motivation. Because that has happened before and I never want to go down into that place again.
If you listen to what shame is trying to tell you it allows you to explore the parts of yourself that need the help. For me I am working on being comfortable sitting still and knowing all is well in the world. As I meditate into myself and work through old fears and limiting beliefs I find more peace in my daily life. I find peace knowing I don’t have to be superwoman and that it’s okay to have off days. What is something in your life that you shame? Do you not do the things you say you will? Do you eat things you shouldn’t? This would be an incredible opportunity for you to take and dive into it. Meet it and have it greet you and then watch it to see where it goes. You may find that it brings up some things you didn’t even realize where holding you back. I am going to eat my food and go to bed. A good nights sleep will open me up so that tomorrow I am back at living in my greatness and tackle the things I dare to habit.
Be kind to yourself my friends. It’s okay to have off days. To have tired days. Sad days. Angry days. It’s okay to not be 100% all the time. Have a great night!
Today was a 5.