Taking the Leap
So next week I start school. I am freaking out a bit, but I am also super excited. I have tried in the past to actually follow through but what does the word try mean!! Lack of commitment, and that is absolutely true for me. This time though I am refusing to quit since everything is all online. I have also set up weekly study parties with my best friend to keep us both on track and stay motivated! So what does this actually mean for me, let’s discuss.
Going to school for me is a huge deal because it means I am proving that I can do this and pass with flying colors. I use to think okay I have to prove to this person or that, but now this is entirely for me. I am going to prove to myself that I can rock algebra and English. In the past I tend to get overwhelmed and scared, plus add in the insecurities of thinking I am not smart enough and you got drop out. Cause that is what I did. So why is college so much different then vocational school? Wow that’s a great question. When I did vocational school I had a 98 grade average and rocked my exams every chance I could. I studied hard and loved it. For me I think with vocational school it was different because of my mindset. I believed in myself and pushed myself so hard. College scares me probably because it reminds me of high school, and I dropped out of there. I know right a high school drop out owning her own business and rocking the shit outta it. Who would of thought.
But in seriousness College just reminds me of how I let myself down. By not following through and committing, and I think that is the biggest hurdle for me. Is moving past my lack of self love and moving to a place where I allow myself to shine. I love learning, it’s the one thing that sparks so much joy for me. Getting the oppurtunity to learn this time around is awesome because I have humbled myself greatly during this quarantine. I think at times I was a little arrogant, thinking I knew everything and that starting out at the bottom again was beneath me. I was also a little scared and uncommitted as well but getting in touch with my own humanity really opened me up to the possibility that I really don’t know everything.
I just know that I am supporting a dream of mine, to have a college degree. It’s for my inner child I do this, venturing into the unknown and going to school for what I believe in. I am creating a well rounded career for myself because I dream of working with someone on every level. Spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, to help heal them. I have my massage license, have my life coaching certificate, have my reiki certification, and after this semester I will have my personal training cert. Through educating myself perhaps I will help heal and learn things for my own growth.
So for you are you happy where you are at right now? If so awesome! Is there anything you can do or learn to make it better? If not what could you do to help you take one step in the right direction? Also happiness is right now, it’s not something you chase, you chose. But anyways if you want to you can find a way to move where you want to be. Whether that means applying for a new job, going to school, moving to a different state, the point is take a chance on yourself. There is no reward without the risk, but by taking the leap you own more of yourself then you ever did. Why stay comfortable? Push your limits and get out there and do the uncomfortable thing. You never know where it will take you!
Today was an 8. Gotta catch up on sleep!